Reflections on the first month of school - Meet & Greet and phasing in

I had hoped to write this post at the official end of September, but life got in the way.

We have had four weeks of school. The children come back in stages, starting after Labor Day. The first Tuesday is a sort of "Meet & Greet," where the new children come in for a half hour with a parent. They get to find their cubby, bring in their supplies, and start to explore the classroom with my assistant. I answer the parent's questions, and ask a few of my own. My three big questions? 1-Is your child potty-trained? 2-Does your child go to After School Care or Parent Pick-Up? 3- Does your child have any food allergies? The rest I can usually figure out for myself.

Parents are often so overwhelmed with their child starting at a new school, that they often are stumped for questions. I talk about the general flow of the school day and some of the materials in the classroom. I start to talk about a lot of Montessori philosophy, that explains why we do the things that we do. I know that a lot of it is foreign to the generalized idea of what preschool is all about. I observe how the child is interacting with the environment upon his first experience in it. I also pay close attention to how the child interacts with his parents. A lot of information can be gleaned in this initial half hour, even if I am talking to the parent.

On Wednesday, just the K's come in. This year I have six. Two girls and four boys. One is already 6. Three more will be 6 very shortly. The other two turned 5 over the summer. This is a bigger range in age and ability than I have had in a while in my K's, but that is okay. This year, they got to pick out their journal notebook and folder and go to the school library to choose books for our classroom shelves.

Our Wednesdays are always half days in the classroom. Everyone goes home at lunchtime. Those who stay at school either go to After School Care, or to an enrichment class, which is for an extra fee. We have offered classes such as yoga, karate, Drama Kids, violin, sports camp, and more. These start up in mid-September, and about a third of the children participate.

Thursday is the day the the Extended Day 4's join the class. It is also our first full day of school. I have 14 Extended Day children this year, so 8 4's. They also had the opportunity to pick out their journals and folders.

Friday is the day that the half-day 4's join us. Many of them were in the classroom the previous year, so they already have a good idea what is going on. You always have a few new ones, as well. These 4's are the ones who still nap in the afternoon or who are brand new to Montessori. They have the option of moving up to full day later in the year. I only have one who is a half day 4 year-old, and he still hasn't yet turned 4.

Monday is when "returning" 3's join the class. These are the children who attended our toddler program. That means they are at least familiar with the classroom environment and have seen our faces while walking through the hallway.

Tuesday is the first day that all of the children are present for an entire day. This is also the big day of the crying. You may get a few tears on that Monday, but most of them are already used to leaving their parents. That Tuesday is always a hard one. But, the children get over it and engage in the classroom activities. Over time, the crying ceases completely. It just takes some time. I will post more on that later.

Within the following week, almost all of our specials have started for the school year. By October 1st, they are all in place. Everyone knows where everyone is going. Routines are established. The magic is well under way.

Other schools handle their first few days differently. I know my previous two schools did it differently. One had children come for a shortened day in small groups for two days. I believe there were four groups in all. For the next two days, the class was split in half, again for shorter days. And then they all came for their normal schedules. Another school had all of the children start their regular schedule on the very first day of school.

What does your school do? What have you seen work and not work?

Impossible promises

Yesterday, I was talking about how parents easily misunderstand what we are hoping to accomplish in Montessori education. What children have been able to achieve in the past does not guarantee that your child will have an identical experience. Sometimes, I feel like I need to post a disclaimer, similar to what those lawyer firms do. "Past settlements do not guarantee a similar outcome in your case." That means, just because they were able to achieve millions for one person after an accident, you cannot count on receiving the same. The same can be said for the kids. Just because your friend's child started doing elementary work at a young age doesn't mean that your child will go as far.

I was forced to reflect on this today, after a friend mentioned a parent encounter to me. She said that when she sat down with the new family, they asked if she could promise that their child would be reading by the age of 4. After all, the child's previous Montessori school had made that promise. Isn't it the same at all of them?

I think of some of my own experiences with parents. Yes, I have been fortunate enough to have had children who are fluent readers at the age of 4. That doesn't mean that all of my students are going to do the same. Inevitably, siblings of these children are expected to achieve the same lofty goals. Friends of the family expect a similar outcome with their own children.

**Each child is different.**

All we promise to do in Montessori school is to help your child achieve his or her own potential. When it comes to reading, each child has his own special point in time where everything comes together and clicks so that he is reading. There are no magic formulas that make this happen on an adult's time. It all depends on the child and what works best for him. The most that we can do is to guide the child along the path of reading, introducing each concept as he is ready.

Most children will at least be familiar with the sounds of the alphabet by the time they are four, or in their second year of Montessori. Some of those children will be putting together those sounds to create words. When they are five and in their third year, most of them will be putting together sounds and starting to recognize some sight words. Some children aren't going to be able to do this until first grade. If a child is unable to read words by the age of 7, then you know you have a problem. A good instructor will recognize signs of struggle much sooner and will do whatever she can to help the child. She may make recommendations for some outside help that is more specialized. Services available are going to vary from school to school, and even district to district. 

The key is to communicate with your child's teacher.  Ask how your child is progressing. Compare your child's progression to himself, not his siblings or best friends. Make sure there is progress and not regression or an overly extended period of no progress. Remember that progress isn't always going to be memorizing sounds and words. Progress may be as simple as actually choosing to work in the language area multiple times throughout the day. Ask how your child's teacher feels about how he is doing and see if there are any recommendations.

Be wary of programs that claim they can turn your child into a reader as a toddler or promise reading by the age of 4. Find a program that sets more realistic goals and works with you to nurture your child in a way that is correct for him and not someone else.

Montessori misconceptions on reading from celebrities

Maria Montessori's 142nd birthday was just this past August 31st. I love that everyone is talking about it. Montessori is being pushed out into the mainstream media, creating more awareness. However, I also fear that even more miseducation could result from some of this.

I am speaking specifically about an article that I saw via Tim Seldin. It was posted on the Christian Science Monitor website: 'Maria Montessori and 10 famous graduates from her schools.' Talking about the famous people who have done well thinking outside of the box can do great things for Montessori education. It demonstrates how the goal of Montessori is to make children think for themselves, to expand their horizons, and to feel comfortable as they do so. Brilliant minds are nurtured within this type of environment. Educating the child for life has long-lasting effects that reach way into adulthood. This is all true. I see it in myself as a grown-up Montessori child.

One effect I see of constantly bringing up these famous Montessori kids is that many parents start to expect you to magically turn their kid into some kind of a superstar. They think that by enrolling their kids into a prestigious Montessori school, we will create these amazing creatures. We don't. These children come to us already as amazing creatures. We just help to lay a stronger foundation in their lives to help them blossom and grow and to realize their potential. The child is the one doing the work, not us.

The one page that haunted me the most was the one featuring Dakota Fanning. In it, she says that she learned how to read at the age of two and that Montessori teaches kids how to read at a really, really young age.

So did I. In fact, that was the reason that my parents sought some kind of appropriate education for me. They chose Montessori, not because children read early, but because it was the kind of environment that would stimulate my mind and educate me at my level. Even though I was reading at such a young age, I still needed to study phonics from the beginning. I distinctly remember tracing sandpaper letters and practicing their sounds. My early reading was all through sight word recognition that I had picked up on my own. I didn't have a grasp of phonics.

I find that parents often expect us to teach their children to read at the age of 3. Some of my toddler teacher friends have encountered parents who expect their children to read even at their level. You cannot force reading on a child. All you can do is give him as much exposure as possible. Feed into those sensitive periods for language with phonics exposure. Enrich the child's language environment. The child will learn how to read when he is ready. Sometimes that doesn't happen until the child is about seven years old, regardless of the child's educational background. Some of them will read at a younger age. Those who read at a younger age often have the skills ready to go at the surface. They just need someone to show them the way to let out those skills. THAT is what we can provide to the child, not teaching them at such a young age. It is not a guarantee.

I am glad that I encountered this story at the beginning of the school year. It just serves to remind me (and should all of us) how important parent education is. In some ways, we have to educate the parents even more than the children, so that they understand what we are really doing.

It's Parent-Teacher Conference Report Time!

This time of year always gives me fits. It's parent-teacher conference report time. That means endless hours of paging through a year's worth of notes, digging through those mental files of what I know about the children, and typing, typing, typing, typing. I always have intentions of starting early, sometimes I do, but the majority are always held off for the last minute. I am a procrastinator by personality. Somehow, I work better under pressure. I am always reminded of college finals week.

This coming Friday, I will sit for about 8 straight hours of conferences for the first round. I meet with the parents for 25-minute intervals (5 minutes in between to cushion and to allow for a quick bathroom break). I have the parents come in about 5-10 minutes early so that they have time to peruse the reports. That way, they can have their questions ready before they come in. It is difficult when they don't come in early and you waste the first half of the time watching them read. It's also a little uncomfortable to watch their expressions while they go through it, especially if the child is having some kind of difficulty.

Our reports are all narrative. Sections are divided up by subject area and child development. How much detail you go into tends to vary from teacher to teacher. I am as concise as I can be, but include a ton of information. I have been burned in the past by not including every single little detail that is on my mind. These reports will often follow the child to the next school or next classroom and I want future teachers to know everything there is to know about this child. We also have a special section for our K's who are leaving us. It is somewhat redundant, but follows more of a checklist format, organized in such a way that it is more easily interpreted by public schools. Yes, we wish that our students stayed with us forever, but are realistic and know that only 1/3-1/2 will stay for first grade. Again, we want to make sure that the next school knows everything we know about the child.

The advantage that I have in doing them is that I am a writer. I can type and organize my thoughts pretty quickly. I have also developed a system that works. We have our form that we use. I go through and fill out the generic sections first, such as a summary of everything we have done in social studies, science, art, etc. When I go back through, I can add specific points about that child in each area. Not having to type all of that over and over is a huge time-saver.

I am sure there is always something that could be tweaked in how our reports are presented. We comment on them annually during our meetings. We wish there was some way to streamline the process, while still presenting all of the necessary information. Nothing better has yet come up.

What do your reports look like? How often do you write them?

The Language of Money

In Montessori education, we focus on the importance of language with children. Everything has a proper name, which we teach first. That first period of the three-period lesson is the naming period. "This is an apple. This is a banana." In the second period, we look at the child retrieving the vocabulary as we ask him to point out the objects we name. "Show me banana. Show me apple." And finally in that third period, we ask the child to give us the name. "What is this?"

Beyond simple vocabulary is the manner in which we talk about concepts and ideas. Children pick up on our attitudes and learn how to mimic them. They listen to the words we use and figure out how to apply them elsewhere. The same can happen when you are talking about money. In this excerpt from Chapter 2 of Piggy Banks to Paychecks by Angie Mohr, she discusses the language of money.

The Language of Money

How we talk about money- the words, the phrases, the attitudes- is just as important as what we say about money. It’s the same with food. If you talk about food like it’s a reward for good behavior or a comfort for a stressful day, those attitudes will color what you do with food and how much you eat. The words you use about food, such as “You deserve a big bowl of ice cream”, will shape how your children view and talk about food. Just as bad food habits can be carried over from generation to generation, so can bad money habits.

Money is nothing but a facilitator of commerce. It does not have any magical properties that will make people happier, more positive, healthier, or wiser. While having enough wealth to live a fulfilling and satisfying life is a fantastic goal, it’s not the money itself that gets us there. It’s what we do with our money and how to handle it.

For the next week, listen consciously to the words you use when you talk about money every day. Do you talk about it as if it’s something that just appears and disappears outside of your control? Do you discuss how you will reward yourself with a shopping trip after a hard work week or “splurge” on an expensive dinner out? Do you talk about your retirement account with comments like, “I’m not even going to look at it- the markets are so bad right now”? The words we use define how in control we feel about money.

Remember that children are sponges. They listen to us when we think they’re doing other things. They absorb our attitudes about wealth, budgeting, and financial security. Controlling the way you talk about money is the first step in teaching your children positive financial lessons. Money is not the end goal and it is something that we can harness and control. We are not helpless in our financial journey. Everyone has the ability to take the reigns and direct our financial situation in the right direction.

Here are some money phrases that are a great start to talking about money more positively:

“Our budget gives us $100 this month to plan our entertainment.”

“Because we saved $50 on our groceries this month, we can take $25 of it and go to the amusement park.”

“The housing market is significantly down right now, but we’re not buying or selling and can ride it out just fine.”

“Let’s go through next year’s budget again and see if we can find some savings so that we can go to Mexico in the winter.”

“Mary, you did a great job managing the bake sale and it showed in the amount of money you made.”

“The car is still in good running order, so we’ll keep it for at least another year.”

“We received more back on our income tax returns than we expected. Let’s work the extra into the budget.”

“You saved up for that CD player all on your own and then researched and found a better price than you were expecting. Great job saving money!”

Note that all of these phrases denote that you are in control of your money. You know where it came from and where it’s going. You have your money on a leash, not the other way around.


Watch your thoughts for they become words.
Watch your words for they become actions.
Watch your actions for they become habits.
Watch your habits for they become your character.
Watch your character for it becomes your destiny.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

© Angie Mohr 2012

Learn more by visiting Angie Mohr's website for Piggy Banks to Paychecks.

Piggy Banks to Paychecks

In the Montessori environment, we are teaching children skills for life. We also expose them to as many concrete concepts as possible, to lay the foundation for later abstract learning. Even in the early childhood classroom, young students start to learn about money. First they learn the names of each coin and bill. Later they start to assign values to them. Activities for a money unit can often mimic the other math areas.

Parents can easily start to implement natural education about money in their daily lives. In the upcoming book Piggy Banks to Paychecks, author Angie Mohr, CA, CMA shares tips with parents about teaching their kids about money. Here she shares one of her tips with readers:

Piggy Banks to Paychecks, Angie Mohr (Fitzhenry & Whiteside, 2012)

RAISING MONEY SMART KIDS TIP #2

Start Early and Make it Fun

The one question I get the most often from parents is "How soon should we start teaching our kids about budgeting and money?" The answer to the question isn't cut and dried. Money lessons start with simply exposing your kids to the financial realities of life.

"Why can't I have that chocolate bar?"

"Because it's not in our budget this week."

"Why did that lady give you money?"

"Because she just bought some books from us."

Exposure to finances is the first step for kids to learn what money is and how to handle it. There's no need for formal lessons or lectures. Kids pick up their financial knowledge through everyday living.

When kids are around five, they can begin to understand more complex monetary situations, such as commerce and saving. Take your kids to the local discount store and let them decide on minor purchases, such as whether to buy the name brand laundry detergent or the generic one. Explain the reasons why one might be better than the other (more loads of laundry for the cost, quality, etc.).

Let young children count out change and get used to monetary equivalents, such as ten dimes make a dollar. Buy them a piggy bank (or make one from a jar) and let them start accumulating coins. When they're older, they can start working for their money, doing chores around the house. Keep money a daily part of their lives, just as it is a daily part of your life.

Visit Angie Mohr's website for Piggy Banks to Paychecks for even more information.